Issues In These Days

Here I am is my last station of this business trip, Donguan, China. Where our factory is outside the downtown. As people well known that security issue always exists in this city, we won't go far from the hotel we stay. So I got more silent hours playing with myself.
Our team has lacked of manpower for a long time. Though there is 1/3 new staffs in my team, they still make these audit projects successfully proceeded. I knew the experienced staffs felt heavy loading but I got no helpful solution for them. They counted themselves and did their best. They all sacrificed their time with their families during this trip. I profoundly felt grateful to all of them and thanks God to give me these good staffs.
More 3 days, we are going to our hometown. I almost can imagine how difficult the following jobs will be, the expectation of upper management, the effective coaching on new staffs, the deficiency of resources, the uncompleted works,...etc. Those issues all test my will and patience. However, there seems no way to escape and no time to make daydream.
So guess what! To survive myself in such hard issues, some days I just released my pressure by eating and sleep, and it worked sometime.

Negative Emotion

Have you ever the experience that you had paid a lot of efforts but somehow you got only critical comments? Two days ago, I felt frustrated by such situation, and moreover, I hated I couldn't control my tears rolling down eventually. I felt stressed, weak, tired and confused. I almost got crushed by a series of top-down instructions. I questiond myself if I should keep moving on the way I chosed?

The new boss wondered why I had the irregular reaction. According to his saying, this was his style of communication called as "brain storming". As for my personal opinion, I really don't appreciate such critical attitude. I think it's not appropriate to judge others in a picky tone, especially at the first meeting without any understanding base between.

I felt deeply down but need to force myself to face the upcoming difficuties. Now I'm trying to pick up my confidence and courage. I think I shouldn't be beaten off just at the first round. I would be a loser if I run away from this examination.

Here is the quotaion to encourage myself. (from Living Life Fully)

The key to cherishing yourself is recognizing that you are valuable, lovable and definitely worth being cherished. Once you are ready to make this decision for yourself, you will discover an inner confidence that was trapped just behind your fears. ~by Michelle Morris-Spieker

Hi Apa kabar, Jakarta

I had kept my blog blank for quite a long period. There was no special reason just without inspiration to write. I asked myself not to be sunk by those anonymous stuff and feelings. Sometimes to keep busy was the good therapy to put myself in the status of "HAPPINESS". Well, try to imagine, if you had spent out of your energy during the daytime, how could you have power left to fight with the inner voice?

It's the last night of my first bisiness trip in 2011. I'm in Jakarta. I had been trying to keep my mood in balance these days. Since this place was always connected with my heart in some way, special friends and special memories. I would like to cherish every chance we meet and hold on the moments to share with those whom I care about. It's a pity that I only could stay 3 days this time and the departure is coming tomorrow. So here I would like to say "Selamat tinggle" (Goodbye) to those lovely friends.

I got some issues about forgiveness and giving these days. It was not so easy. I had been trying to learn and practice more about that. I knew I am not as smart as what I behaved actually. I still laughed loudly to hide my real feelings. Sometimes I almost persuade myself that I didn't care about those unpleasant stuff at all. I believe the saying that everything happened for a reason. So I think it's must be meaningful what I experienced. Maybe I don't know the real answer now, but I would learn something from these days eventually.

From 2010 to 2011, From Chaos to System

15 minutes later, we will move on to 2011. How can I let the moment be blank?

Looking back on the passing year, I had a lot of different experiences from the previous year, both in outer life and inner life. I tried to learn more to live at the moment. I took every unexpected thing as every single test. I remembred there were times I tried to escape from some dislikeful tasks but hardly succeeded. Though I ever doubted if I could handle them by myself, I found to face them was the only useful solution eventually. Step by step, I expected to win myself.

This chaostic 2010 year with many cruel and miserable disasters, with unusual climates. We are experiencing some dramatic changes in every aspect. I wish all the sad things would be stopped at the last moment of 2010.

Wow! Let's welcome the coming new year!! Sending my blessings to all of you....

Wisdom of Life

I seem to be numbed by these regular schedules and same jobs. I became dull. I didn’t know what worth to write. I think I’m losing my sensibility. Were these days just too regular to be recorded? No, it’s definitely not correct. I had a charming tour to the beautiful islands of Taiwan, Panghu. I attended a good course about the skills of performance review. I am hunting new staffs for my team. However, some days I felt like a rock, hard and heavy. I felt lost and confused. I questioned myself again and again. Should I move on this way? Was what I persisted really what I wanted? Would I have the power and wisdom to solve the upcoming challenges? Guess what! I am still right here. I just let my brain run out of memory but do nothing. Maybe I am just a stupid guy to trouble myself.

I just saw a film-‘ The Good Heart’, acted by Paul Dano and Brian Cox. There was a meaningful metaphor said by a counselor toward a young man who committed suicide attempted, and I want to memorize here.
“Try to think life is a coconut. It’s hard outside. If you don’t have proper tools or knowhow, you would see it can be useless. But if you know how to open this, it’s juicy inside.
The key is not to keep the coconut yourself. Once you know how to open the coconut, you share the coconut with someone who has no coconut, then, you will understand what happiness is.”

In this competitive society, speed almost can win everything. People lose patience. We don’t like to wait and get behind. In Mathematics, we are taught a diagonal line is the shortest distance between two nonconsecutive vertices. But how about the principle applied in our life? Does it work we adopt the straight way to deal everything?

A friend sent me a story and gave me the good wisdom- The straight line may not be the shortest distance between two points. Sometimes we run out of our energy but only move on a little. We speed our steps from the beginning but fail to hold on till the last minute. How come? Do we take the wrong approach? I just know to pull a wagon on a rough road by “Z” line will save more power than the “straight” line.
So how about to extend our thinking! A narrow winding trail might lead us to a beautiful garden. And I think the key is to take time to live a life, to feel the land, to experience what we are gifted.