Why Bothering?

I had a few experiences in the past week. Some awful, some sad and some pleasant. These days made me exhausted not in my physical body but in my spirit.

Event #1, funeral
I attended a funeral for my aunt. At the end of that day, a thought came acrossed my mind, no matter how our beautiful days or hard days ever existed, all lives will be ended at the same destination, sooner or later. And then I started to think my issues,
What I have been searching for? What's my mission in this life?
Am I moving on the right way toward my destination?
When should I drop my persistence if I lost my faith on the way I chosed?
Well...the thing really gave me a strike on my head. I don't have the right answers about the above issues. But I try to tak a different look when I met unpleasant things.

Event#2, shortage of human resources
I was asked to compromise on the job assignment for one of my staffs, though I had tried to state how we pull our resources among projects. I felt much pressured and offended by the in-charge of the operating unit. I tried to settle the different view points between us but failed. No good communication but only one-way listening.
Finally I supposed his behavior probably due to the pressure from his management, so we ended the conversation. I'm not good at dealing such argument. I hate to wear a mask in front of people.
However, for the good sake of my staff to avoid him isolated by the group where he dedicates, I need to adjust my plan for the following projects. Anyway, a right decision is not eaqual to a good decision. Sometimes we have to give up the current "benefit" to achieve the long term "profit".

Event#3, a trip of pumpkin tunnel and water show
Yesterday was a hot weekend. The sun crazily danced during the day time. I joined a trip with my classmate to visit the pumpkin tunnels and water show. Except the trip route was not well arranged, that was a fresh experience for me.

明德水庫 水舞秀 Water Show

苗栗造橋金瓜傳奇-南瓜隧道 Pumpkin Tunnel

Relaxation

I'm home, staying at my small nest. The first weekend after my trip was rainy and rainy. I felt tired, so I stayed home and saw movies for the whole weekend.

Actually I feel so stuck. I think a lots but hardly to write down. Most of my thoughts are illogically. I feel heavy on my sholders. I know there are many tasks waiting for me, but I leave them all outstanding there.

All I want to do is doing nothing. Maybe you couldn't understand my style. But that's I called relaxation and the way to set myeslf free, like recharging the battery. Now come to my last program- some wine for myself.

Small Break from Pressure

Lately I saw the news about employees’ suicide of FOXCONN. People discussed the serial events a lot these days. I felt sorry about those who chose suicide to end their lives. But I couldn't figure out what serious difficulties caused such situations? Those people were so young. They should have good life if they took a different choice. Here I won’t judge if they chose a wrong way to solve their problems. But I ever approached some people who really thought the suicide is a better way to end their suffering. I think how to dispel their negative thoughts is a very important step and lead them to look more bright sides of their life. The FOXCONN management had taken some actions to stop such suicide happening again, and the local government stoped all the relative news published. I sincerely hope the sad things stopped there.

So far I have been traveling in China more than three weeks and completed three projects at my first station, Jiangyin, Jiangsu. (The city is located at the south side of the Yangtze River). Though the continuous field works made me exhausted, I felt fulfilled at works during this period. I made efforts on developing new methods to do analysis. I shared my skills with some colleagues. And my team had good communication with those whom were interviewed. Through these projects I saw the growth of my team. It was a truly good experience on teamwork.
This Wednesday I moved to my second station, Changshu, and stayed here for two nights. Soon I am going for the next city two hours later. The tight schedule of this travel made me a bit. Fortunately I may have a small break this weekend and meet with another project team. I plan to have a city tour and visit a friend couple dwelling there.

Life likes tides, sometimes up and sometimes down. I saw the Chairman of FOXCONN, Mr. Kao bowed his head for sorry. The thing taught me no one will always stands at the top. There are always a serial tests along our life way. We have duties and rights for our own life. And we also have many options when we need to make a choice. No matter good things or bad things, they will pass by and become a part of our memory eventually. So, I'm asking myself: I may not change the things ahead of me, but I have the power to control my mindset in a positive status.

Balance In Life

I have been traveling in China since May 5. It's not easy to access my blog and face book here. These days made me feel suffocated and stressed. The internet resources are seen as natural and citizens' rights in most countries, but not in China.

There were some personnel adjustments in our company during middle April, including mine. Much responsibility added. I had a great worry about that and felt pressured these days. Some nights sleeped not well. Though I knew it's no use to worry so much. Thanks for this travel to set me free from those bothersome stuff. I wish I may make good adjustment after this period.

Today is Mother's Day in my country. I remember I haven't given my time to my Mom for years due to my works. As aging I feel more and more sorry to her but can't speak it out. It seems normal people keep words unspoken especially in front of those close ones.

How to make balance in family, work and social relatioship? What to take more or to give up? When to do or not to do? Well...for me, it really needs a huge wisdom.

Feeling the Existence

It's a rainy Sunday, a wet city. I have stayed at home since I woke up this morning. It's a good time to spend more time with myself. Though I am not good at cooking, I can make some cookies and cakes. It has been a long time since I made dessert last. I found some excuses for my laziness. This weekend I pick up my energy and make dessert, almond cookies and brownie. Here are my jobs.

I felt great while concentrating on cooking. Before that I was a bit worry about my techic. I almost forgot the procedures. Fortunately I completed these jobs.

There were not much feeling to write these days. I am not sure if it's a good thing for me. I got endless works at office, and had no time to think what happened. However, the days keep going on, and it's my real and ordinary life. I still find time to walk around and hunting good stuff. Last Sunday I went to Dan-Shui Old Street. As usual, the place were filled with crowds. I noticed there some change since my last visit, street arts and new stores. I felt inspired and walked along some streets I had never been there.

Through I seriously observe the people around and read the latest news about earthquakes of China, I felt so lucky to live in the city. What a wonderful thing to exist in a safe place of the world. Here is a good quote for sharing and concluding my rough thoughts.

Slow down and take the time to really see. Take a momentto see what is going on around you right now, right whereyou are. You may be missing something wonderful.
~J. Michael Thomas

(from livinglifefully-dailymeditations)