Issues In These Days

Here I am is my last station of this business trip, Donguan, China. Where our factory is outside the downtown. As people well known that security issue always exists in this city, we won't go far from the hotel we stay. So I got more silent hours playing with myself.
Our team has lacked of manpower for a long time. Though there is 1/3 new staffs in my team, they still make these audit projects successfully proceeded. I knew the experienced staffs felt heavy loading but I got no helpful solution for them. They counted themselves and did their best. They all sacrificed their time with their families during this trip. I profoundly felt grateful to all of them and thanks God to give me these good staffs.
More 3 days, we are going to our hometown. I almost can imagine how difficult the following jobs will be, the expectation of upper management, the effective coaching on new staffs, the deficiency of resources, the uncompleted works,...etc. Those issues all test my will and patience. However, there seems no way to escape and no time to make daydream.
So guess what! To survive myself in such hard issues, some days I just released my pressure by eating and sleep, and it worked sometime.

Negative Emotion

Have you ever the experience that you had paid a lot of efforts but somehow you got only critical comments? Two days ago, I felt frustrated by such situation, and moreover, I hated I couldn't control my tears rolling down eventually. I felt stressed, weak, tired and confused. I almost got crushed by a series of top-down instructions. I questiond myself if I should keep moving on the way I chosed?

The new boss wondered why I had the irregular reaction. According to his saying, this was his style of communication called as "brain storming". As for my personal opinion, I really don't appreciate such critical attitude. I think it's not appropriate to judge others in a picky tone, especially at the first meeting without any understanding base between.

I felt deeply down but need to force myself to face the upcoming difficuties. Now I'm trying to pick up my confidence and courage. I think I shouldn't be beaten off just at the first round. I would be a loser if I run away from this examination.

Here is the quotaion to encourage myself. (from Living Life Fully)

The key to cherishing yourself is recognizing that you are valuable, lovable and definitely worth being cherished. Once you are ready to make this decision for yourself, you will discover an inner confidence that was trapped just behind your fears. ~by Michelle Morris-Spieker

Hi Apa kabar, Jakarta

I had kept my blog blank for quite a long period. There was no special reason just without inspiration to write. I asked myself not to be sunk by those anonymous stuff and feelings. Sometimes to keep busy was the good therapy to put myself in the status of "HAPPINESS". Well, try to imagine, if you had spent out of your energy during the daytime, how could you have power left to fight with the inner voice?

It's the last night of my first bisiness trip in 2011. I'm in Jakarta. I had been trying to keep my mood in balance these days. Since this place was always connected with my heart in some way, special friends and special memories. I would like to cherish every chance we meet and hold on the moments to share with those whom I care about. It's a pity that I only could stay 3 days this time and the departure is coming tomorrow. So here I would like to say "Selamat tinggle" (Goodbye) to those lovely friends.

I got some issues about forgiveness and giving these days. It was not so easy. I had been trying to learn and practice more about that. I knew I am not as smart as what I behaved actually. I still laughed loudly to hide my real feelings. Sometimes I almost persuade myself that I didn't care about those unpleasant stuff at all. I believe the saying that everything happened for a reason. So I think it's must be meaningful what I experienced. Maybe I don't know the real answer now, but I would learn something from these days eventually.