Negative Emotion

Have you ever the experience that you had paid a lot of efforts but somehow you got only critical comments? Two days ago, I felt frustrated by such situation, and moreover, I hated I couldn't control my tears rolling down eventually. I felt stressed, weak, tired and confused. I almost got crushed by a series of top-down instructions. I questiond myself if I should keep moving on the way I chosed?

The new boss wondered why I had the irregular reaction. According to his saying, this was his style of communication called as "brain storming". As for my personal opinion, I really don't appreciate such critical attitude. I think it's not appropriate to judge others in a picky tone, especially at the first meeting without any understanding base between.

I felt deeply down but need to force myself to face the upcoming difficuties. Now I'm trying to pick up my confidence and courage. I think I shouldn't be beaten off just at the first round. I would be a loser if I run away from this examination.

Here is the quotaion to encourage myself. (from Living Life Fully)

The key to cherishing yourself is recognizing that you are valuable, lovable and definitely worth being cherished. Once you are ready to make this decision for yourself, you will discover an inner confidence that was trapped just behind your fears. ~by Michelle Morris-Spieker

Wisdom of Life

I seem to be numbed by these regular schedules and same jobs. I became dull. I didn’t know what worth to write. I think I’m losing my sensibility. Were these days just too regular to be recorded? No, it’s definitely not correct. I had a charming tour to the beautiful islands of Taiwan, Panghu. I attended a good course about the skills of performance review. I am hunting new staffs for my team. However, some days I felt like a rock, hard and heavy. I felt lost and confused. I questioned myself again and again. Should I move on this way? Was what I persisted really what I wanted? Would I have the power and wisdom to solve the upcoming challenges? Guess what! I am still right here. I just let my brain run out of memory but do nothing. Maybe I am just a stupid guy to trouble myself.

I just saw a film-‘ The Good Heart’, acted by Paul Dano and Brian Cox. There was a meaningful metaphor said by a counselor toward a young man who committed suicide attempted, and I want to memorize here.
“Try to think life is a coconut. It’s hard outside. If you don’t have proper tools or knowhow, you would see it can be useless. But if you know how to open this, it’s juicy inside.
The key is not to keep the coconut yourself. Once you know how to open the coconut, you share the coconut with someone who has no coconut, then, you will understand what happiness is.”

In this competitive society, speed almost can win everything. People lose patience. We don’t like to wait and get behind. In Mathematics, we are taught a diagonal line is the shortest distance between two nonconsecutive vertices. But how about the principle applied in our life? Does it work we adopt the straight way to deal everything?

A friend sent me a story and gave me the good wisdom- The straight line may not be the shortest distance between two points. Sometimes we run out of our energy but only move on a little. We speed our steps from the beginning but fail to hold on till the last minute. How come? Do we take the wrong approach? I just know to pull a wagon on a rough road by “Z” line will save more power than the “straight” line.
So how about to extend our thinking! A narrow winding trail might lead us to a beautiful garden. And I think the key is to take time to live a life, to feel the land, to experience what we are gifted.

Just Do It, Just In Time

Some days I felt confused and didn’t know how the time passed so soon. Some days I wonder what we are busy for. Then, what will you do or find something to support you to keep moving on? Have you ever thought what our mission ought to be in this life?

I just heard of an elder lady got cancer yesterday. As my mom told me, she almost dedicated herself to her family and work. But she never paid attention to her health. She ignored a several signs of her illness. She was overloaded with works and works. She thought she just got tired. Who would think of such thing happened on one’s prime of life? No one could accept the bad news as the doctor announced how many days she left.

I ever saw and knew most parents work hard through their lives but seldom spend money for themselves. What they do and concern is all about their children. So did this ill lady. She seemed never let herself to enjoy her life. I thought the best change was her two children became responsible after she got sick. It’s indeed a cruel lesson for all.

A friend sent me one story a few weeks ago. There was a man who never stopped his steps in his world. One day a wisdom finally caught up with him and asked why he always rushed to somewhere, he answered the death kept in step with him, so he ran fast to leave the death behind. The wisdom then asked, why did you think that way instead of the death should be in front of you? Why didn’t you just slow down to feel and enjoy every moment you have?

How about your views from the metaphor of this story? And then what would you make changes in your own world?
These days I have a few rough thoughts. Everyday we rush here and there. We race against time. Some days we lived without any focus and lost our faith. Could we just sit for a while to feel a peaceful moment? Could we just treat ourselves generously while healthy? Could we be a bit selfish and willful sometimes to care more about ourselves? It seems easy but actually not for some people.

In Life, As In Crosswords

I had a very relexed time for this weekend. I joined an outing to Yilan. We visited Green Onion Culture Palace, went to see silver willows and beautiful maples. It was bitterly cold yesterday, especially walking on the hills.

Perhaps I had spent out my energy for the outing, I woke up very late this morning. But I felt peacefully today. It was still cold outside. I didn't step out my house until I went out for hunting food this evening.

I just watched a comic film "All about Steve", acted by Sandra Bullock and Bradley Cooper. I enjoyed its metaphors of some dialogues, some meaningful quotes. I would like to paste some here for reminding myself of these good words.

In life, as in crosswords, some days are harder than others, and that's what keeps your brain alive. The key to surviving those tough days is to pick yourself up and stay focused on your life's purpose.

If you quit a puzzle, you can't finish it. Sure, every once in a while, you run into a doozy, that you don't think you could ever solve in a million years, but if you stick with it, you figure it out eventually. Worst thing you can do is leave it unfinished. It's never the solution, is it?

We have a natural compulsion to fill empty spaces. I like to think he means not just crosswords, but the empty spaces inside of us. That comes from making your way in a world, that doesn't always embrace unique.

I tried to fill my empty spaces with words and puzzles- and Steve, but that wasn't the answer. Now I know, on the journey, just find someone as normal as you, even not the whole bunch.

If you love someone, set him free. If you have to stalk him, he probably wasn't yours in the first place.

Be A Good Person

I just watched a film-"World's Greatest Dad", acted by Robin Williams. It's a comedy with mamy humorous, sardonic and meaningful dialogues. These words attracted me to write down here and led me to question myself as well.

"Is it more important for me to be a good person? or to be thought of as a good person?

I got a little confused which means a lot to me?

I had no intension to please anyone around me, but I liked the feeling to be thought of as a good person. So that I might need to hide my real thoughts in front of them.

For a long time, I have being acted as a good daughter to my family, a responsible staff to my served institution, a considerate person to my colleagues. Are those my real personalities? Or what I did just because I didn't want to disappoint those people at all. Sometimes I felt pressured and tired to act as what people expected me supposed to be.

Well...what's your philosophy?

Course Of Commuication

Today I attended a training course of communication. I enjoyed the learning very much. I think it's a practical and useful on my job. The teacher gave us a homework to find out what we need to improve in our work area. There are three aspects-"ASK" to work out:

A-Attitude

S-Skill

K-Knowledge

Just write down 2 points of each aspect, because too many issues would mislead our forcus.

We had an interesting game for "Thinking". Here I paste the first picture. I think you may have a try. Take a piece of paper , and please use your creative power to make it into the same shape in this photo. Give yourself 5 minutes. Did you make it? There were only 2 persons succeed in our class. What a pity I wasn't the two.

Then I paste the solution for you below. Try again....Succeed or not? The secret in this game is "view around", to think things in a different way. Wishing you enjoy~

Dancing With Pressure?

It have been one month since we moved in our new office. I walked to office in the morning if I woke up early. Recently I have been busy on preparing our annual budget and project plan for next year, and keep receiving many instructions from my boss.

Actually I am not a glutton of work, but in some friends' view, I might be. Somehow, I indeed think being busy is a good thing. It means I am needed by something or someone, either in my family or company. Plus, I won't have time to make daydreams.

I just read an artice from my friend's email, and I like its philosophy-"There is no boring work. Only our attitude toward works makes it interesting or boring." In my most approaches to face heavy loadings would be acceptance first, then trying to negotiate a new deadline about tasks. But unavoidablely, I might easily become impatient when I am busy or deliberating on something. I think I still need a lot of efforts for improvement.

Outside the window of my office, I can have a great view about the surrounding buildings and the distant mountains. There is always a good chance to refresh my mood in each brand-new morning. Looking the farthest, the mountains, I become so tiny.... like dust in the wind....

My Bucket List

Well...it's a very meaningful assignment for me, and this inspiration came from these two wonderful posts, "mountainmama's bucket list" and "starry eye's 10 Dreams to Realise b4 I Kick the Bucket". I don't know how they make those beautiful thoughts and dreams, but I would like to try my own.

I ever thought, if I only have a few months (or maybe less ) to live, is there anything I feel regetful about? anything I want to do but never did it? for sure, there should be. somehow, I am in a trance.

Here I go my bucket list before I am dying.

1. to meet true love and get older together.

2. to have a house in the country and live in a simple lifestyle.

3. to dispel my fear about water and learn how to swim.

4. to learn painting.

5. to accept any invitation for experiencing fresh and good stuff.

6. to travel as possible as I can- with enough time, bugdet and good health.

7. to enjoy life with a good partner, my family and old friends.

8. to have my own coffee shop where people may release themselves.

9. to write down my life, my feeling, my fantasy till the last momet.

10. to train myself to stay in real peaceful and harmonic mindset if I failed in making dreams come true.

And here's what I have done that makes me feel good about my spiritual land and real life.

1. I made efforts on my career and got physical returns to clear my financial burden.

2. I started my blogging life since this July. It led me through a brand-new space, knowing many friends and fulfilled my boring life. Meanwhile, I have been trying to improve my poor English through writing.

3. This year I had trips to some destinations where I had never been.

4. I experienced an unforgettable relationship this year, from sweetness to bitterness. But I also learn how to do self-healing, to love myself more, and to enjoy life in time.

5. I learn how to make cookies and cakes. I like to share those desserts with my friends.

So far, I am still thinking what I want? anything I will regret if not doing? As time goes by and I am getting older, my bucket list might be revised again and again. But I think it's OK. It will mean I have different expectation and more dreams toward life. Moreover, those dreams of the list will be good drivers for changing my ordinary life.

Sharing Good Stuff - Magpie

My colleague sent me a picture about "magpie". In our custom, we see this kind of birds as a good sign, will bring good news. Last Friday afternoon, the last working of my trip, I saw the beautiful bird and took a shot. Wishing you all good news approaching to you.

It's an ordinary day, but I felt more harmonic than other weekends. I watched one film about Coco Channel's story. I saw how hard jobs behind a successful wowan, both in her family, love and career. As my view, she got a good luck and paid her efforts as well. That made her dreams come true. However life are always filled with uncertainty. She lost her true love before she got to the poineer position.

For me, it's an inspiring story. I was thinking it's really hard to ask for a perfect life what we want, and no one is exceptional. Through mountainmama's reference, I read this quite from livinglifefully, and I most like the bold lines in which.

Today's quotation:

There are as many nights as days, and the one is justas long as the other in the year's course. Even a happylife cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word "happy" would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness. It is far better to take things as they come along with patience and equanimity.

by Carl Jung

From Ending To Beginning

Yesterday was the last working day in Taipei Neihu Technology Park. We will move to a new building in downtown from next Monday. It's very near where now I live. Excluding traveling days, I may go to my office by walking. For me, it's really a good luck and an unexplainable fate. I am very familiar with this area since my first serving company is located here. It's also near Taipei 101. Who can predict where I will be? About 5 years ago, I didn't know I could hold on my current job up to the present and our company will move to this downtown.

The past few weeks a lot of things changed. Some friends were laid off and some is going to quit. To go forward the past few months, I lose an important distant relationship with my friend, but I found new land for my soul, I learned how to do self-healing, I got warm friendship and comforts. As well as those kind consideration, there were also some critical comments and warning to pull out myself from the sad mood. I knew very well no matter which way they expressed, they indeed cared and concerned me. As Mountainmama sent me this quote "There is nothing wrong with change, if it is in the right direction ~ Winston Churchill”, I would rather believe that everything will be arranged in its best way.

I think we all got some difficult issues for learning in this life, perhaps in family, friend or career, in physical or mental area. Sometimes I couldn’t help myself to fall into self-pitying, but I won’t allow that emotion stay too long. Now I am looking forward to my new working tempos.

Here I paste some wisdom quotes for myself and share with my dear friends.

About maturity~

Henri Bergson:
To exist is to change, to change is to mature, to mature is to go on creating oneself endlessly.

About expectaion~

Joan Didion:
To free us from the expectations of others, to give us back to ourselves -- there lies the great, singular power of self-respect.

About beginning~

Lazurus Long:
Great is the art of beginning, but greater is the art of ending.

Deal With Unpleasantness

How would you react if any uncomfortable situation happened between you and your family, your best friends, or partners? Will you adopt a straight way to speak out your feeling? or pretend you didn't care? or persue yourself nothing happened? Either which one, they might embrace the good side and the bad side. It is really hard to get the balance for all.

An unexpected visitor came to my house yesterday. If he just stayed for a while or a couple days, it's all right. But I was told just one hour before his coming and said he might stay for a couple weeks. I felt uncomfortable. I felt my private space was offended. I am not good at hiding my feeling, so I said some serious words to my family last night. After then I kept quiet for a few hours. Why some person often ignored the others' existence?

Today is Sunday. I have done a whole day of housework. The guest is still here. I was trained to be a polite person so I couldn't expel the guest. It seems I couldn't change the thing. I tried to remove my focus from his long stay. I kept myself in my room, listen to some music, and watched a movie to cheer myself. Later I will have a beauty treatment on my face and keep relaxed. I need to drive out the negative emotion quickly. Why should I let others effect my good mood and add wrinkles on my face?

Here is a good quote for all my dear friends.

"To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance"
- Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)

I also paste some happy tips from website by google search. Now I am trying to practice these as my spiritual homeworks.

It's more important to be happy than to be right.

You can either be happy, or unhappy. Choose happy.

Learn to show cheerfulness even when you don't feel it.

Treat everyone as you want to be treated.

Question Myself

No news for this weekend. The sunshine finally went through the heavy clouds. I like the cool and sunny day. I didn't go far and just walked around in the neighborhood of my house. I felt comfortable while the breeze brushing my hair. Like the other weeks, I did a lot of laundries and housework after a whole week of working days.

The major task for me in the 4th quarter is the budget preparation for the next year. By this year end, about 80% of our project plans will be confirmed. It means I almost know how tight my schedule will be for the coming year. In some way I might feel upset because I will get more responsibility and challenges. Some places I never visited in the past projects. I am not sure if I could make that succeed.

A few weeks ago I read the quote from mountainmama's blog,

Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood.

~Marie Curie

I think it would be a good reminder for me to dispel my doubts and fears for facing the uncertainty. In addition, I need make more efforts and spiritual construction before I go for the new area.

Sometimes I felt so lucky to get more chances for traveling than others, though most of them were due to my job required. Those travels did give me different views and growth for life. No matter where to go and what to experience, it will be only a part of my life journey. As the author, Stephen Covey, stating "the 90/10 Principle",

10% of life is made up of what happens to you.
90% of life is decided by how you react…

So... why I need to worry about the 10% of uncontrollable life?

Clearing Useless Stuffs

This weekend was a cloudy and rainy day. My mood was a bit affected and stuck by the weather. After staying for half a day, I decided to step out for 'hunting'. By a chance, I walked in a bookstore. I felt fresh for a while when I found new stuffs-memo papers and notebooks with cute cartoons. I hadn't spent much time outdoors since it's very wet outside.

For a moment, I didn't know why I was so blue for the whole weekend. Though I enjoyed the silent hours but I didn't like the anonymous emotion came. To drive out the unwelcome feeling, I chose to watch a comedy- 'The Proposal", acted by Ryan Reynolds and Sandra Bullock.

I don't know how about your way , but it works that those simple things always can bring me simple happiness. It's an easy approach to expel the pressure from me.

I guessed there should be some useless stuffs on my mind, and I had to take actions for cleaning up. It had been a long time since I rearranged the layout of my room last. I thought it would be a good timing for making change as well as brushing my blue mood. Trying to dispose of some useless stuffs, I was getting delighted whenever throwing one away.

Later, I will continue my cleaning job...both for environment and spiritual land...

Next Station, Happiness

Lately I paid a lot of efforts on movie making by disposing some photos and music. I felt like to find a new pleasure park for my heart. I enjoy the peaceful mood while concentrating on my movie project.

Time to the fourth quarter, many friends looked like more busy and impatient. These words just came to my mind when I walked on my way home tonight-'Next station, happiness'. If there is a real station named 'Happiness', I think most of us would pay for the ticket. I believe that indeed exists in our own mind and everyone has his unique approach to 'Happiness'.

In most circumstances, sometimes we made us breathless just because we gave too much pressure on ourselves. One of my friends told me she felt unhappy. As I knew she alway set some standards and targets for herself. These days she might get to the bottle neck for work and feel powerless for her current status.

What about your approach if you fell into the same situation?

I think it's good to keep us walking on the right way to our goals, but never push ourselves too much whenever the things went out of our expectation. Ask yourself what you want? Had you done your best? If yes, just let it passed. You still have time and another new chance to make it better. It means you have the oppertunity and space for improvement. More reference for you, there are many dimensions of our lif. We shouldn't overemphasize any of them, unless it's our choice for our own happiness.

For releasing the unpleasant mood, I usually take a deep breathe, then to do something interesting. Maybe a cup of coffee, a comedy, a slow walk, reading or chatting, it would be useful to transfer my focus to a light mood. Here I share a fantastic idea for you.

Imaging....

"You were shipping in the sea. Soft wind blowing. You got your tempos to enjoy the melody of sea waves...."

Well, could you feel that?

Art Of Rejection

Did you have the experience that you want to be alone for deliberation, but you might be interrupted by unexpected things? such as a market research call, noise pollution, friend's visit, or any kind of invitation. What will you react then? I think most people would get impatient at the first moment. For sure, I am not exceptional. Sometimes I would felt sorry for my first reaction. To feel for others, they might really need our supports at that time, but were unfortunatly rejected by us.

Words are arts and tough lessons. I know I'm not capable of all hard works or requests, so it indeed happened that I had to say "NO" to others sometimes. Although using words improperly might be hurt to others, my basic principle is never promise others what over my capability. Once you promise but fail to do, it might hurt others more than your first rejection.

In another situation, for those people always used to ask for other's help, you might have a soft heart to give him a hand occasionally but coudn't be his hands all the time, right? So don't feel embarrassed to say "NO", just remember to give him a chance for helping himself and growing up.

Words could be miracle and healing. In the other way, if we can give others our hands easily and willingly, never be stingy to express our kindness and consideration. I believe good people will always be blessed.

Be Kind . Be Good

I heard of some friends suffering from illness today. Many sorrows came to my mind. I wish they will soon overcome the hard work with all resources and great courage.

Meanwhile, I also had an introspection on myself. As the same age of people, I should be grateful to God for my good health. I think God give everyone at least a tough issue in his life. Some met bottle neck in career, some fell in unpleasant marriage or relationship, some got sick and some worried all they thought. It seems we all have different issues to learn and conquer. Some can pass through but some might quit in the half way.

I am not sure if you believe the saying of transmigration of the soul in Buddhism. Whenever I met something unfair or horrible, I would have a dialogue with myself- Perhaps I was not good in the past or the previous life so that gave me the test and the chance to learn. I think what we done to others will pay back to ourselves someday. Through some actual cases and my past experience, it's indeed a small world and we might meet each other somewhere occasionally. So do good things and try to be kind to others as possible as we can.

Be Thankful To Those Hurts 感謝疼痛

昨天, 跟一個許久沒見的朋友碰面，兩人聊起來, 近日所遭遇的感情事件竟有許多雷同的戲劇情節, 一樣令人不解，一樣令人心痛，與其用像謎一樣來形容事件的男主角，還不如說他們不夠坦誠。談話的過程，我彷彿看到幾個月前的自己。這樣的愛情，投入與付出較多的那方, 傷得總是最重。我試著以先前自我療癒所學到的方法向那位朋友引導，由衷期盼她失落和不平的心能找到出口，找到寄託。

Yesterday I met a friend. We didn't meet for months. Just got her latest sad love as I ever experienced. Alomst the same senario happened in these men's action. I won't say they were mysterious. I would rather say they were'nt frank in the relationship. I saw my shadow from her stroy. The one who pay much more get more hurt in such a relationship. I tried to give my advise which I applied in my self-healing. I heartfeltly hope she will find a way to get back her lost and upset heart.

我想，用心對待的人，老天爺一定會疼惜他們，就像曾經聽到的這段話：

　『可能神要我們在遇到那位對的人之前先遇上一些錯的人，
　　讓我們遇到那位對的人時懂得珍惜。 』

　　 Perhaps God want us to meet some wrong persons before right persons, then we will know how to cherish when we meet those right persons.

很有智慧，不是嗎？

我的朋友問了我一句話：怎樣才能不再受傷？能夠遇到對的人？

我的心裡頭是沒底的，這個世界，變才是唯一的不變，我們又如何企求對方能夠始終如一呢？若沒有雙方用心盡力的維繫，共同的人生目標，情感關係要想長長久久，約莫是天方夜譚才找得到的劇情。

Well...how to avoid to get hurt again? how to the the right persons?

I have no idea for that actually. The only unchanged thing is it always changes in every second. How could we expect the other never change if we had no common goals for life and both two didn't pay efforts on managing relationship.

今天，在網路上看到吳若權的新文章『受傷的手心』，最後的一段話裏，我找回些許心靈的觸動：

　唯有麻木不仁，才能免除痛的感覺，

　午夜陣陣襲來的疼痛，雖然苦楚，卻表示我，還有知覺。
　原來，手傷、心痛，也可以是一種幸福。

　感謝疼痛，讓我察覺：

　我的手，還可以活動；我的心，還能夠感動！

　Only an unfeeling person won't suffer from hurt.

　Those memory often came across my mind in midnight,

　painful and bitter, but means I am alive, I can feel the world.

　Now I understand, it's a certain kind of happiness to feel the hurt.

　Be thankful to the hurt which let me know,

　My hands can work, and my heart can be touched.

Four Grades of Concession

Just read an article " Concession would make more progress"(讓步, 才會更進步), writen by one of my favorite authors-吳若權. In which I mostly like the section of concession art in four grades.

-1st grade of concession, to treat the other with high respect.(禮遇)

-2nd grade of concession, to support and agree to the other's thinking and doing.(支持)

-3rd grade of concession, to tolerate and forgive the other's mistake and give a new chance to make up.(包容)

-4th grade of concession, to accomplish the other's happiness, to let the relationship go when his/her heart not in it.(成全)

Actually it's not easy to put those above into practice, especially for the one who paid much more in a relationship. Since we couldn't put all our expectation on the other's shoulder and make him/her change mind, we need to find a way to comfort ourselves. I remind of the words from my recent reading that I decide my own way to happiness. So far, I'm still learning to be a smart guy along the road I chose.

Bodhisattva Of Adversity

I got a meaningful article from a friend's sharing today. The topic is "Bodhisattva Of Adversity" (逆境菩薩). The story stated a man had changed twelve jobs in ten years. You won't believe the same reason for his leaving was those companies going out of business. When he applied a new job, the head proctor didn't think he would have a chance to compete with the other candidates.

The man said , "I understood very much that 12 companies, I tried hard to save them with my colleagues, although it failed, but I knew each detail of those mistakes and defeats, and learn a lot from those experiences. Not everyone had the chance to learn that. Many people only pursue for success, but I, have the experience to avoid the mistake and the defeat! ......"
“I knew most of successful experience were similar, easy to imitate, but the reason of defeat actually different in each case. With ten-year study on successful experience, was inferior that with the similar time on experiencing mistakes and defeats. Could learn more and more profoundly. I believed that others' successful experience is very difficult to become our wealth, but others' defeat process is actually our precious wealth!”

How would you say that? I extracted some good view points here and my understanding for sharing.
Not only our enemy or the bad circumstance will defeat us. Sometimes the most intimate persons would hurt us deeply indeed. It's easier to forgive the enemy than our family or best friends. Those who gave us pain, failure, sadness and hurt are called "Bodhisattva Of Adversity" in Buddhism. They are the best gifts from God. Those unforgetable experience will help us to grow up and cherish the good things in our life. We may say that it's also a certain kind of inspiration in some way.

Learn to be thankful to them and smile at every test. Toast to the adversity and those who gave us tough issues in our life. Through that, we might feel the sunshine more beautiful than ever, and connect to the better future. It's not easy to do. But I would like to make this as a start.

Lose And Gain

It's good for me to focus the busy days on meeting and meeting. Lately I spent less time on daydream and felt composed about the past uncomfortable experience. Maybe forgiveness is the main key to set me free from that unbalanced relationship.

I talked to my colleague about my concern and frustration on seeing the coolness from other people. Can we ask for a true heart and treat each other frankly? To have more considerable and understanding thoughts for each other.

A beautiful relationship need be attentively maitained on the premise of love, honesty, faith, trust and respectation. To question myself, 'Is that only an ideal model I pursue for? Could it be real? When will I meet a good guy to let me feel safe and loved?'

I knew quitely well the former unpleasantness was just one of examinations in my life. I should keep my faith on others and coach myself to avoid the same mistake.

Awaking in every brand new morning, I expect there is always a good connection to the next journey. Either a good or bad condition, it will be changed eventually. I might lose something in this run and get pain from those hurt things. I also gain precious experience and growth in some way. Those people I met will all become a part of my memory. Some stayed for a while but some stayed long. Some brought me joyfulness but some left me sadness. Someday when I look back on those days , I will miss them and be thankful for their ever attendance in my life.