"Mr. LEFT"

"Mr.LEFT"? Yes, you are not "Mr.WRONG"! I would rather call you Mr.LEFT. Why say so? I think there was nobody wrong in this relationship, just because we are moving on different sides, the right for me and the left for you. If I make a list for 10 persons who had affected my life most, you would be one of them. You made me change my lifestyle, my learning, my views, and the definition of love.

Through a friend's visit a few days ago, I heard of your latest status going well. It's good for you. It had been over six months since our last real talk. These days there were some noises echoed in my head, and the frequency of those sounds increasing. I think the main cause is due to our next meeting is approaching more and more. It pushed me to write something here. Though I know very well you won't look my posts, but why bothers? I just want to record my present mood.

Fifty days more, we will meet again, before that, I really wish a chance to talk to you heart to heart. I still have no idea what you are thinking now. Friendship doesn't come easy, and we had been friends for years. It's the last thing I would do to give you any pressure. You could tell me if you thought this relatioship as a burden. What I have been waiting for is still silence. You never showed up and said something. I had ever tried several channels to reopen our conversation but all failed. What could I say? It's a long long distance to reach you, so no matter how you think or act, I indeed have no way to affect your life. Maybe you felt much safer in your own shell.

Here I paste some words from my reading and I wish you might see. If not, I hope we may frankly talk when we meet next time.

"I want and deserve a man who knows he wants to be with me.

If that's not you, I need to know, so I can move on."

Though in the deep of my heart I might guess and catch the answer, I still wish you could let your words spoken.

I think we will be alone eventually at the last second of our life, so before that sad moment I do hope both us will be lucky to keep sharing our life with our beloved, no matter whom the one will be. I can't deny there are some hesitations and struggles staying here. I also wonder if you ever thought of me and cared about our friendship. As people told me, it's dangerous to fall again in such a distant relatioship if lack of trust base. Now I am counting the days left, and buliding more strength inside to see the real YOU at that day.....